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By Rich Simon It seems astonishing that even just two or three decades ago, parents not only pretty much knew what was expected of them to turn their offspring into civilized adults, but they could actually count on society to back them up. Even more astounding, kids seemed to understand this, too. Even if they rebelled against, yelled about, or sullenly resented how “unfair” adults were, they seemed to acknowledge adult authority and realize that they would just have to wait until they turned 18 to get for themselves the keys to the kingdom of grown-up independence. | Case Studies - Page 11 |
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"I didn't know my first husband very long. We married and moved to Montana, away from my family. I got pregnant, and then I discovered he was addicted to drugs and alcohol." "How were you saved from that situation?" "I tried to stay with him. He went through rehab after rehab, and finally there was an incident that ended everything. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I didn't know he was doing drugs that day. He was driving and passed a red light, and we had an accident. I was trapped in the car for a long time. I nearly lost Whitney. My husband left the scene, and I never saw him again. Later he was arrested for armed robbery. Whitney was released from the hospital before me, and my mother took her home. I picked her up at my mother's house when I got out of the hospital and took her back to Montana. That's where I met Richard." The flat way Mary tells her story may signal a low threshold for stress, and may indicate the need for supportive understanding before she can hear a challenge. "So you enter into the scene," I say to Richard. "What happens?" "I was attracted to her and Whitney. It was an instant family. I'm an only son. My parents divorced and both remarried. I lived with my mother, her husband, and my youngest stepbrother." "And how did you learn to be nurturing?" "I don't know. I tried to protect my brother from my stepfather. He was crazy. He had mood swings, and he'd threaten to kill me. Sometimes he'd be fine. Other times, he'd sit and stare at the wall. When I was 17, I left home."
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