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By Rich Simon It seems astonishing that even just two or three decades ago, parents not only pretty much knew what was expected of them to turn their offspring into civilized adults, but they could actually count on society to back them up. Even more astounding, kids seemed to understand this, too. Even if they rebelled against, yelled about, or sullenly resented how “unfair” adults were, they seemed to acknowledge adult authority and realize that they would just have to wait until they turned 18 to get for themselves the keys to the kingdom of grown-up independence. | The Worry Hill - Page 9 |
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At home, Maria practiced the same exercises she'd completed in session. These exercises were discussed with her parents, so that they could make the time and be encouraging as she tackled her daily practices. She wrote in her diary what she practiced each day and how it went. Within six sessions, Maria was able to ride the Worry Hill confidently and successfully. Now, it was time for her parents to stop enabling her. With Maria's consent, a "weaning plan" was developed to gradually extricate her mother from her entwinement in her daughter's rituals. In the next two sessions, I coached Maria's parents about how to carry out this plan. They gradually decreased the number of reminders, the physical assistance, and the extra checking they provided for their daughter. When she sought reassurance, they redirected her rather than providing answers reflexively. "Is that you asking, or is it OCD? Do you want us to help you or help the OCD? What do you think you need to do with that OCD thought?" They helped her remember that the uncomfortable feeling would pass if she just waited it out. When she got distressed, they had to stick it out too, until their own anxiety passed. Maria's parents had to climb their own Worry Hill. It was a good experience for them to be in her shoes briefly and see how hard it can be to withstand anxiety. Although challenging at the beginning, the weaning gradually became easier because it was planned and discussed ahead of time, and Maria had already experienced success with ERP. They celebrated their successes together. After eight weekly sessions of CBT, Maria and her parents reported an 80-percent improvement in her symptoms. OCD worries were now passing thoughts rather than paralyzing fears. |