I realized I was preaching to the converted and that my position—unorthodox in North America—is actually mainstream in other cultures. As I continue to meditate over these cultural differences, I think that, for many decades, our North American models and ideas have been exported to other countries, influencing the ways in which couples therapy is practiced all over the world. Maybe it's time for a two-way exchange, so that we can learn from the wisdom of other cultures. Listening to our colleagues from other countries may help us work with more flexibility, and better deal with nuances and complexities, as we grapple with all the varieties of love that we encounter in our offices daily.

Michele Scheinkman, L.C.S.W., is a faculty member of the Ackerman Institute for the Family. Another article on this topic, "Beyond the Trauma of Betrayal: Reconsidering Affairs in Couples Therapy," was published in Family Process, and has been translated into several languages. Contact: michelescheinkman@ gmail.com. Tell us what you think about this article by e-mail at letters@psychnetworker. org, or or log in and comment below.

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audanne  - Foreign Affairs   |Registered |2010-07-13 07:44:48 I thought this article was very interesting and some concepts from other countries would be interesting to explore.I can see the perspective of other countries ideas about infidelity and disclosure, but in my own situation I needed to know every detail of my spouses affair. The things I could imagine were so much worse than what really happened. It would be nice at times to have private parts of a life together but I think it would destroy intimacy.

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