Run with It! - Page 4


I'm hot, sweaty, and so done with this workout! I know what he wants: he wants me to run the quarter-mile path around the field next to the court at top speed. I really, really don't want to do this. Andrew puts his arm around my shoulder. "Lynn, I feel your pain. I do. I know exactly what I'm asking you to do. I know it's hard. But this is your mind saying no. Your mind is scared to run right now. What does your body say?"

That's a good question. I'm not sure how I'll know the answer. I'm pretty sure I can't use my old intuitive method to tune in to my body, since it's no longer reliable. Instead, I just sit. I'm blank. As the seconds go by, I begin to feel a subtle body relaxation. My body isn't in pain. It's fine with the idea of running. "My body says it wants to run," I answer. I'm astounded to be saying this.

Andrew nods and says, "Go!"

I stand up, take a breath, and begin to run. I'm not running fast and I'm breathing hard, but if I listen to my body, it isn't in pain, it isn't unhappy--it's just moving. I try to let my body do what it wants and have my mind just be a passenger along for the ride. This isn't easy, because my mind wants to do its old thing, to be in control, but as soon as that happens and my mind, prying, asks my body, "Is this wise?" my body immediately weakens. So I try to just stay in the moment, breathe, and focus on nothing but making my body move through space. I run. As I run, I realize that this is a new way for my mind to be with my body: to be the passenger. My body is in charge--it's running me, instead of the other way around. My knees go up and down, my hands pump, I pant, I'm moving forward, my body is contented. I see Andrew in the distance waving his hands, urging me on. I ignore him and focus on nothing. I'm running, my body is talking to me, and I'm finally letting it speak.

Lynn Grodzki, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist and business coach in private practice, and author of several books on practice building. She's also the founder of Healingwithbasketball.com, a volunteer organization that helps women rebound from breast cancer. Contact: lynn@privatepracticesuccess.com. Letters to the Editor about this department may be e-mailed to letters@psychnteworker.org.

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