|The Anxious Client Reconsidered - Page 9|
Learning to Listen
Once the alarms of the body are silent--once the body component of the mind-body equation has been successfully treated--therapy becomes a reflective process with an emphasis on accepting the importance of subjective experience.
On a concrete level, one of the best strategies for hearing the subjective voice is to continue the practice of diaphragmatic breathing several times a day, until it becomes a natural process: breathing deeply and listening deeply throughout the day. In this way, people can hear their inner voice and weave its wisdom into their responses to the demands of life. In therapy, when people are facing important dilemmas or conflicts, I often encourage them to first be silent and focus on the breath for several minutes. Then, I ask them to listen to what their inner experience says to them about the conflict. I'm often amazed how much more clearly they see their situation after this simple exercise. As they become experts at listening within, they usually discover that the situation is either not as anxiety producing as they feared or that they have the inner strength to handle the problem.
In many clients, the knowledge of diaphragmatic breathing is like a slowly germinating seed. Because it is a physical skill, even those who show little interest in it during therapy can master it later without a therapist's help. A case in point is my former client, Sue.
A year or so after the restaurant incident, I bumped into her on the way into a store. We chatted pleasantly for a while. Things were going very well for her. She had a daughter. The anxiety had receded. She said, "Things are so much better now. It took six months before I took what you or any other therapist said seriously. Then I started doing the breathing and the relaxation tape. I even joined a yoga group last week. I appreciate how kind you were. I didn't listen then, but I do now."
I did not mention the restaurant.
Graham Campbell is a psychologist in private practice with Cedar Associates in Worcester, Massachusetts. His clinical focus is on grieving, terminal illness and the relationship between spirituality and psychotherapy. Address: 9 Cedar St., Worcester, MA 01609; E-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org. Letters to the Editor about this article may be sent to Letters@psychnetworker.org.