The capacity for rage, fear, and lust for dominance seem to be built into our genome. Although we like to think we’ve risen above our “animal” nature, all our efforts to demonstrate a high-enough rank in the social hierarchy by being richer, better looking, smarter, stronger, more powerful, or more popular than other people is just another way of carrying on the ancient struggle for survival. If we see ourselves as failing at that struggle and are left feeling anxious, depressed, and worthless, we may find ourselves with a therapist who specializes in helping people find their way out of these disturbing states of mind. But there are other perspectives on this struggle. Buddhists see the problem not as one of individual psychopathology, but as the result of maintaining our mistaken attachments—our deep desire for what we think we want and our deep suffering when we don’t get it.
The evidence is clear—traditional therapy techniques just don’t work well with many male clients. Learn new approaches—informed by brain and gender science and proven effective—that can help you dramatically improve positive outcomes in your work with men and couples. With Pat Love, Terry Real, David Wexler, Esther Perel, Patrick Dougherty, and Holly Sweet.
Why did a seeming rags-to-riches story of a young man’s triumph over poverty and the lure of the streets end so tragically?
Esther Perel, a couples therapist whose TED talk has had more than 5 million views, believes that it’s time to challenge the mismatch between the romantic ideal and the changing realities of contemporary life.