Tag: Featured Blog

Rich Simon

By Rich Simon Two years ago, when we put out an issue about digital technology and how it was revolutionizing the way we experienced our relationships, I was having a little revolution of my own.  A long-time Luddite who’d been dragged into the Computer Age, I had just acquired my first iPod and was in a state of deep infatuation, entranced by the possibilities for connection and entertainment promised by that little digital baby. Read more

Coach #21

By Rich Simon Like a lot of us in this field, I’ve had boatloads of therapy over the years, but never a coach. At least not until recently, when Andrew—my 26-year-old basketball coach—came into my life to school me in the fine art of the crossover dribble and how to slide my feet on defense. At no extra charge, he’s also begun providing me with some of the best therapy I’ve ever received. Read more

Men in Therapy

By Rich Simon Not long ago, my wife, Jette (who just happens to be the world’s best couples’ therapist), and I were about to begin one of the several couples weekend workshops we hold every year. One of the men in the group approached Jette during an early break, obviously in real distress. “You must change the sign downstairs in the lobby,” he hissed in her ear. Read more

Rich Simon

By Rich Simon When I mentioned Today’s Wisdom, our upcoming webcast series to various colleagues, they all seemed intrigued by the star-power of the participants—Irv Yalom, Mary Pipher, Eugene Gendlin, Tara Brach, Ron Siegel and Daniel Kahneman–but by the subject of therapy and wisdom?  Not so much.

So why are we doing a series on wisdom? Because Wisdom offers us the very thing that is too often lacking in a culture Read more

Wisdom in the Consulting Room

By Rich Simon If you try to get to the irreducible core of why many of us entered this field, it has to do with our endless fascination with that mysterious, indefinable, but utterly indispensable quality of any good therapist: Wisdom.

Yes, wisdom—whatever that is. We have trouble really defining it precisely, but we know it when we feel and hear it. Read more

When Is Attachment the Problem

By Rich Simon These days, most psychotherapy conferences are pretty sedate affairs. The rambunctious era in which proponents of competing schools of therapy battled passionately over theory and method would seem to be far behind us. But what most people remember about the 2010 Networker Symposium was a moment of sharp disagreement that galvanized the entire meeting and has continued to fascinate therapists ever since. Read more

Creating A Safe, Therapeutic Space

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Kids These Days

By Rich Simon Back in the Paleolithic era, when I was a kid, parents more or less knew what they were supposed to do. They were to feed, clothe, nurture, discipline, and teach children civilized values, so that they’d grow up to be pretty much like the parents themselves, only, hopefully, a little better off economically. Read more

A Fred Astaire of Conversation

by Rich Simon I grew up in the Bronx in the 1950s, a now-ancient era, when extended families spent hours visiting each other every weekend. Most of this time was filled with the low-key drone of tales about who was getting married, who was having a baby, who was scheduled for or recovering from surgery, how work was going at the Read more


If we revisit our earliest memories, it’s there: maybe a vague agitation in the absence of any immediate awareness of what the big deal was or perhaps a mysteriously heart-thumping reaction to some scary fantasy unanchored in everyday reality. While fear is our hair trigger response to the threats right in front of our nose, anxiety is our early-warning Read more