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SOA13 303 with Esther Perel

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2 Responses to SOA13 303 with Esther Perel

  1. rinanyemah says:

    Esther, you expressed some really intriguing ideas of how to understand an affair in a relationship. I really appreciated the cases you presented.

    You discussed how people have an affair in order to stay in the marriage. That it acted as a “stabilizer.” How do you explain this or help the couple come to this understanding without appearing like you condone the affair or are aligning with the person who committed the affair? Also, you stated that people are going to have two or three marriages (or adult relationships)in their life and some of them are going to do it with the same person. Can you please elaborate on this thought?

    Thank you.

  2. lizcolten says:

    Wonderful presentation of a compassionate approach when so often that is the element that is missing from the ‘victim’ as they have gained that notorious ‘moral superiority’… I wonder though what your approach is when there is a new substance abuse issue that has evolved with the affair. Do you deal only with the substance abuse issue first, believing that it has unleashed a new self-centeredness?

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