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SOA13 202 with Esther Perel and William Doherty

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5 Responses to SOA13 202 with Esther Perel and William Doherty

  1. jazminenrussell says:

    Not wanting to coerce a client into making a certain decision was mentioned a few times, and one suggested way to get closer to that client’s needs is to have more one-on-one sessions. However, how do you take in both of the client’s issues, needs, concerns and insecurities while attempting to help them reach their own decisions? In other words, how do you make sure these decisions are coming from their own personal desires while still aiding in the negotiation process? I’m particularly interested in the many different kinds of open and polyamorous relationships that Esther mentioned. Some couples may not even know their possibilities, so how do you decide what to suggest while not wanting to be too directive?

  2. jazminenrussell says:

    I see one of the themes of this discussion being the outcomes and concerns of people living in this “individualistic” culture. As William Doherty mentioned, I also think it is important to think about the effects of your decisions on your children and the people who matter to you. But where do you draw the line between family as an important responsibility to take into consideration, and solely making decisions out of a sense of obligation to that person/people? I can see a lot of negative consequences in setting aside your needs and desires just to meet the other person’s or the needs of other people involved.

  3. rinanyemah says:

    Some thought provoking topics were discussed in this session. Esther, you expressed the need to differentiate between polyamory and sexual exclusivity. Can you please speak more to this and further discuss challenging the traditional ideas about monogamy and polyamorous couples.

  4. ccornelio says:

    In the specific discussion that arose in regards to polygamous and polyamorous marriages, do the moral standards of therapists ever conflict in trying to help the client? Therapists also have their own individual backgrounds that influenced who they are now; has there ever been a time that as couple therapists, your cultural influence has interfered with your session? If so, how does one as a therapist avoid such a thing from occurring?

  5. joystar says:

    Is there no set of universal principles that transcend “multicultural differences”? Lies, secrets and silence undermine relationship. Integrity, self-disclosure, accountability lead to intimacy. Healing and empowering individuals assists them to relate more meaningfully.

    My question is how do we know when we are doing harm? Many couples I see have been harmed by “Helping Professionals” These couples do not always have the discernment to know a therapist is not a good match. When already vulnerable they come to fear further confusion after a unhelpful experience. How is a current therapist to rebuild trust in the process?

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