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PP0003: Men and Intimacy: Overcoming “Commitment Phobia”

Welcome to Men and Intimacy: Overcoming “Commitment Phobia”. In this series, leading innovators in the field will delve into the latest research on gender differences and discuss practical ways to make therapy more inviting and helpful for male clients.

In this first session with couples and family specialist Pat Love, you’ll discover how to work with men in therapy by appealing to their logical side with fact-based, practical approaches. You’ll learn how applying brain science to gender differences can open up resistant male clients, and help opposite-sex partners better understand each other’s world.

Learn how to get through to resistant male clients by avoiding the potential pitfalls of therapeutic neutrality. Renowned family therapist Terry Real, the founder of the Relational Life Institute, explores how to deal with male clients by highlighting the negative consequences of their resistance, and challenging them to change their behavior by “joining through the truth.”

Discover why men avoid emotional confrontations because of their inherent fear of shame. David Wexler, who specializes in the treatment of relationships in conflict, describes how to develop a therapeutic relationship based on straightforward guidance and “guy talk,” rather than ambiguous “therapy-speak.”

Explore the poorly understood world of male sexuality by challenging some of the pervasive myths about men and their “nonrelational” attitude toward sex. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity and specialist in sexuality and couples relationships, ascribes practical tools for helping men examine their own sexual blueprint.

Learn how to open men up to intimacy through a mind/body/heart approach. Psychologist and qigong teacher Patrick Dougherty teaches how to connect therapeutically with men and to challenge them to find the value of and capacity for intimate relationships.

Discover the different ways men and woman experience depression, with psychologist and co-director of the Cambridge Center for Gender Relations, Holly Sweet. Learn how to use a more task-oriented, coaching approach to work with men who are unwilling to ask for help with their depression, accept medications, or express vulnerable emotions.

After the session, please let us know what you think. If you ever have any technical questions or issues, please feel free to email

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