We keep secret the things we are ashamed of and the things we fear we cannot face. Too many therapists look for simplistic guidelines for revealing secrets without appreciating the complex decision-making necessary to determine the timing and appropriateness of disclosure. In this Reading Course, Evan Imber-Black explores the systemic issues that should guide a clinician's approach to family secrets and how to counteract imbalances of power within family that can make honesty dangerous. Frank Pittman discusses the liberating force of honesty and letting ourselves be known to each other. Emily Brown exposes the collusion of mutual deception that is at the heart of marital affairs. Michele Martin shows how secrets often oppress those they were meant to protect.
Course Readings
Ghosts in the Therapy Room: The Systemic Impact of Family Secrets by Evan Imber-Black
No Hiding Place: Understanding the Liberating Power of Honesty by Frank Pittman
The Open Secret: Affairs Are Usually a Collusion of Mutual Deception by Emily Brown
The Silent Tyranny: Secrets Often Oppress Those They Were Meant to Protect by Michele Martin
Learning Objectives
1. Discuss the impact of the feminist family therapists on family secrets in therapy
2. Distinguish between privacy and secrets
3. Describe the therapeutic conditions needed to reveal a family secret in therapy
4. Create interventions for helping the betrayed spouse cope with obsessiveness




By Rich Simon It seems astonishing that even just two or three decades ago, parents not only pretty much knew what was expected of them to turn their offspring into civilized adults, but they could actually count on society to back them up. Even more astounding, kids seemed to understand this, too. Even if they rebelled against, yelled about, or sullenly resented how “unfair” adults were, they seemed to acknowledge adult authority and realize that they would just have to wait until they turned 18 to get for themselves the keys to the kingdom of grown-up independence. 

