By Rich Simon As therapists, many of us practice in two different worlds. In the first, we see polite, well-behaved, articulate clients with solid values. They engage fully in therapy, talk cogently about their problems, listen attentively to our responses, make reasonably good-faith efforts to follow our suggestions, and sooner or later get better. No wonder we genuinely like these people!
Because some of my DID clients are artists/writers, I have had to grapple with the dilemma of clients wanting to give me gifts of their work. When I began my career as a therapist several decades ago, I maintained an absolute boundary of not accepting any gifts and, of course, explaining the ethics of why and discussing clients feelings and thoughts about themselves about this.
Over the years, my thinking about gifts has changed. It has been therapeutic for clients to discover why it feels important to them to give me a gift. Is it a re-enactment from the past? One common response is to feel special. I've tried different approaches like creating a rock garden in my office where clients can add a rock they found to the collection.
I continue to struggle with this dilemma, however. It would be helpful to me to hear how other clinicians handle gifts.