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  • 0 NP006 Couples Therapy: Today and TomorrowNP006, Couples, Session 2, Terry Real 06.21.2011 09:26
    If I can interject here... What I got from Terry's seminar is that the therapist supports the latent (or non-rager) when s/he states what the blatant/rager is doing and how it affects her/him. Basically, it seems that the therapists asks the rager (not in these words!) "How is that working for you?" and it comes back to the negative consequences for the behavior. Doesn't matter whether the person overtly admits responsibility or not... s/he just needs to realize that if the situation doesn't change, the relationship may end.
  • 0 NP006 Couples Therapy: Today and TomorrowNP006, Couples, Session 2, Terry Real 06.20.2011 14:18
    I got a lot out of this - including a lot of affirmation of what I've been doing myself "covertly"! However, I had an initial negative reaction to the traditional male/female stereotyping. I understand that the majority of couples may present in the manner Terry described, but it still bothered me. I found using the Blatant/Latent language much more helpful (and that's what I wrote in my notes). I also would have liked to hear more about less traditional couples - people of color, different cultural expectations, GLBT couples, etc. However, I know it was only an hour!
    All that said, I really appreciate what Terry had to say and will definitely explore the website. I hope that, given more time and/or a different format (articles, books) working with diverse couples would also be addressed. Thanks for the encouragement!
  • 0 NP006 Couples Therapy: Today and TomorrowNP006, Couples, Session 2, Terry Real 06.20.2011 14:10
    I have to second this - I've had many people (in the office and out) who fall back on "that's how I am" or "it comes on so fast, I can't help it". I appreciate the suggestion for how to deal with this; it cuts to the heart of the matter, as I see it. That is, "Is this really how you want to behave? Because it's essentially what you are doing..." Thanks!
  • -0.1 NP006 Couples Therapy: Today and TomorrowNP006, Couples, Session 1, William Doherty 06.11.2011 11:44
    This was awesome and extremely encouraging. I've worked with only a few couples in the past few years and I am happy to see that with my latest couple I've actually done much of what Bill says needs to be done! I was rather uncomfortable being more directive, but I think it's important to create a safe space for both spouses. I especially appreciated the exhortation to focus less on insight (which seems to lead to analyzing each other) and more on how they couple can change. This session really excites me that I can do good work with couples and encourages me to learn more. I definitely appreciated the "basics" approach - the nuts and bolts of working with couples.
    One question: Was the video not available for the rebroadcast? I couldn't find the 2nd window to view it.

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