Welcome to our
“Who’s Afraid of Couples Therapy?” This exciting series, back by popular demand, is based on our November/December 2011 issue on this topic and will explore the challenges of couples work.
What are the most effective strategies in working with couples? How can therapists structure therapy—particularly in the early sessions—so that couples leave with a sense of hope, rather than frustration? Can working with individuals who have serious issues in their relationships actually be detrimental to them? Find out the answers to these questions and much more. In this first session with expert couples therapists
Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, the creators of the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, you’ll find out why clinicians often avoid working with couples and how you can better prepare yourself for couples therapy work.
How can therapists most effectively work with emotion in the consulting room—particularly when it comes to couples therapy? Learn with internationally known couples therapist
Hedy Schleifer how to help create a nourishing connection between partners, define a role as therapist-as-guide, and much more. Schleifer, who’s pioneered the training of Imago Relationship therapists internationally, will go into how to use this theory in practice and how to best work with emotions.
What happens when partners in couples therapy have two different agendas in mind? Hear from expert
William Doherty on this little spoken about topic. Learn how Discernment Counseling, an approach that helps couples clarify their feelings about the next step in their relationship, can help both clients and therapists.
Is it possible to rebuild trust and intimacy in a couple’s relationship after a partner has had an affair? How can therapists help? Hear from
Esther Perel, author of the international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, on how to help couples after an infidelity and the role that cultural perspectives have in this emotional situation.
Explore this classic dynamic of couples therapy—an angry woman and a withdrawn man—that’s often confusing for therapists, with couples therapist
Jette Simon. Learn more about what’s behind the feelings of anger and the behavior of withdrawing, and how clinicians can more effectively work with shame and fear of disconnection.
Hear an unconventional perspective on couples therapy from
David Schnarch, who believes that the best way to help couples is to challenge partners to change their individual behaviors and attitudes. Schnarch’s direct, upfront approach to helping clients will illustrate a different viewpoint on effective couples therapy.
Join
Marty Klein, a marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, us for a candid discussion about the assumptions that both clients and therapists often share that can get in the way of improving couples’ sexual relationships.
Discover with
Kathryn Rheem how to respond effectively when clients express strong feelings in session. Based on Emotionally Focused Therapy, you’ll explore attunement and how to use your own emotions to help clients move beyond attachment injuries.
After the session, please let us know what you think. If you ever have any
technical questions or issues, please feel free to email
support@psychotherapynetworker.org.
The frame that occurs to me is that the differing points of view of Drs. Kagan and Siegel mean that, even though they’ve reached a very rewarding and civilised agreement, they are talking about radically different tasks and mental frames. Dr. Kagan is taking an essentially epidemiological stance when he asks “what factors best allow me to predict the mental health of the next person to walk through my door?” Dr. Siegel is taking a clinical or, more properly, a therapeutic stance when he asks “how will I best make sense of the history of the next person to walk through my door in order to assist them in overcoming their particular mental/emotional difficulty?”
Obviously Dr. Kagan’s stance is seeking to apply knowledge across a population while Dr. Siegel’s stance is seeking an intellectual structure to give shape to therapeutic work with particular people with whom he works.
These two stances have radically different criteria of utility or validity. For Dr. Kagan, a construct must increase predictive accuracy by an appreciable amount over rival constructs; for Dr. Siegel the construct must assist him to work [more] effectively with his patients. Dr. Kagan’s criteria are quite objective. From the research on therapeutic factors that has been published over the last few years (Wampold, Bergin et al.), we know that the most valuable function of all therapeutic or psychological models is the confidence that they provide the practitioner using them and their plausibility to the client. We do more effective therapy when we have confidence in the model and interventions that we are using and the client does better when they find our confidence infectious.
With this slightly embarrassing finding in mind, in the therapeutic setting the factual accuracy of attachment theory as identifying the causes of particular dysfunction is largely irrelevant. Of course we do know that attachment history contributes to differences between people’s neurological development which is a major factor in its ability to inspire our confidence. However we know that Transactional Analysis can also be very effective and the “reality” of Parent Adult Child is not in any sense objective.
Another aspect of this interplay is that the population voluntarily seeking therapy is [probably] more homogeneous as to social factors than is the population at large, which seems to be Dr. Kagan’s area of focus. In this smaller population where the differential impact of social factors is comparatively low, other factors like specific trajectories through interpersonal attachment may have a greater weight in accounting for our clients’ self-evaluated mental comfort.
So the bottom line for me as a therapist from this discussion at the moment is a strong warning that attachment history is unlikely to be anything like a complete pointer to individual clients but it is a useful model in which to characterise their current and historical relations. Simon Mundy, Psychotherapist near Sydney, Australia.