By Rich Simon It seems astonishing that even just two or three decades ago, parents not only pretty much knew what was expected of them to turn their offspring into civilized adults, but they could actually count on society to back them up. Even more astounding, kids seemed to understand this, too. Even if they rebelled against, yelled about, or sullenly resented how “unfair” adults were, they seemed to acknowledge adult authority and realize that they would just have to wait until they turned 18 to get for themselves the keys to the kingdom of grown-up independence.
![]() NP0008 The Great Attachment DebateThis blog focuses on discussion regarding the course NP0008 The Great Attachment Debate.NP0008, Attachment, Session 5, Sue JohnsonHow is Attachment Theory relevant to effectively couples therapy? Learn with Sue Johnson how understanding and working with attachment relationships will help therapists deepen their emotional presence and work with clients’ emotional reactivity in session. Johnson, one of the originators of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, will explore the principles of this empirically validated treatment and how to apply Attachment Theory in therapy. After this session, please take a few minutes to engage in the Comment Board and let us know what you think about using this method with couples and whether you think Attachment Theory is applicable in couples therapy. What was new or most striking about this presentation? What questions did this bring up for you? We invite you to include your name and hometown along with your comment. If you ever have any technical questions, contact support@psychotherapynetworker.org. Comments |
You expressed beautifully the science and logic of what has seemed to work with patients. I thought the importance of how the patient experiences the therapist when the patient is feeling pain was so valuable. Often I do not fully understand what to do. Because i realize i will sometimes use humor and sometimes say nothing or sometimes touch the patient when i am with someone who is describing a terrible situation. But appreciative comments that they have felt secure, known and valued by me has reinforced my unresearched approach.
I have made mistakes but i think what you emphasized was that the felt knowledge that the therapist or partner in couple therapy is there for you even if they step on your toes is what is essential in building trust.
Your description of forgiveness and the "felt" apology when the person knows that their partner actually feels the pain of their pain and that that is not because of the words... maybe a touch maybe a particular expression is so essential.
This lecture has reminded me of some additional work i could do with a patient i no longer see but feel i could do additional work with to help improve a very complicated painful situation that had occurred.
Thank you. I look forward to learning more
Larry Drell, MD
Washington, Dc
Bravo for your fine work and clear presentation. Your words are validating for the importance of trust and forgiveness. The examples you gave in the webinar, including using the lovely video, helped cement the usefulness of attatchment theory.
When I have a emotional disturbance with my husband, who will withdraw, I have learned to ask him "what do we need to do to get back to a good place?"
I find many good examples in the webinar to enhance the work I sometimes am called to do with couples in crisis.
Thank you..it's not often I hear the word 'love' used in our work.
Carol